I often say I just need a minute. When I feel overwhelmed, stressed out or life just seems to be moving too fast my whole body reacts and in my mind or even out loud I will say I just need a minute. And in that minute I pause, I feel my whole body relax, drop deeper and I take a deep breath. Of course that leads to another deep breath and then another. And in that pause I reconnect to my deepest self and everything shifts, slows down and it almost feels like a reset. In that reset I feel that new and fresh glimmer of hope and inspiration. My greatest hope in sharing this writing is that I shine the light of hope for you and offer a hand forward as you move along your journey.
I truly know that we all yearn to be deeply seen. For our stories to be heard and held in a deeply sacred space. I have seen it again and again…….in that sacred moment of being heard and seen we completely relax, we drop in deeper, we are able to take a deeper breath and it’s almost as though somewhere within us there is a little voice saying “finally”.
I have often wondered, do we create more activity and chaos (super busy schedules with lots of appointments and commitments) in our lives to cover our true essence, our greatest gifts? Why would we do that…….somewhere deep within do we wonder if it is truly safe to be deeply seen….to share our most sacred gifts and deepest yearnings. What if they aren’t received…….have we just exposed the most sacred part of ourselves? Take a few minutes, pause, breathe and allow a reset. I hope you enjoy my writing and take a moment to write down anything that comes to you. Remember this journey is moment to moment and breath by breath. A beautiful transformation is within reach.
Chaos…..we’ve all experienced it, at times we crave it, we add to it…….it’s remarkable how it makes us feel needed, wanted, loved, valued…….the more chaos there is, the more there is to do and the more there is to do the more valued, important and productive we feel. And the chaos wheel starts all over again and the cycle continues until you hit the wall…..or maybe you never hit the wall…..maybe I just hit the wall…..multiple times……the cycle of exhaustion…….the unraveling the layers……until that moment, that knowing that it’s finally enough and there is quiet, the silence in the pause……it’s enough to pause and to breathe and to wonder and expand into the flow and to know that my life is changing.
Coming Back to Life
Visualize a photo, washed out, way out in the distance, black and white with faded out gray tones….you can make out the images, you’re pretty sure…..then the images begin to sharpen a little…..a little more clarity, fine tuning…..there it is…..it is as though the sun came out and everything became brighter, more vivid…..and then color started filling in, softly at first…..too much too soon was a little too scary…..something dry and shriveled coming back to life……soaking in the colors and textures and coming back to life……replenishing all that had been relinquished during the trying times…..there is nothing like soaking in the heat of the beautiful sun as though your life depends on it…feeling it down to a cellular level and the healing that it brings….it’s the same as soaking in the radiant, vivid, colors, the blues, greens, purples, yellows and oranges….being saturated and healed by them as though your life, your soul depends on it because……it does.
The commitment to deep healing has been a love affair since I was 26. 30 plus years on my heroine’s journey. In this time of self discovery I have touched a truly sacred space within myself. There has been a glimmer, a noticing, a certainty it’s been there but it eluded me. Someone said to me this week I was removing the debris….I was simply removing the debris…..bringing to light the sacred pain, the beginning of the sacred pain, of this life and many lives before this one….the sacred grief and sadness….an unbearable pain…..the deep release and an astounding opening. How could I have known all these years…..on this journey…..that I was always headed in the right direction even during the darkest times….it was following the quiet calls and whispers…..trusting them that they were showing me the way to a deeper healing and awakening…..it’s trustable, it truly is…..listen for the whispers, take a breathe and take another step forward. I believe in you, I believe you can do this……
The Mind Can’t Know
The first time I heard the words “the mind can’t know” it was from one of my teachers. At that time I felt adrift, untethered….I was “living a life of quiet desperation” and everything felt like it was falling apart. My mind had been running the show for my entire life but things weren’t working……but things had always worked before, I could always figure it out, make a list, check things off, drive the solution……but now what…..when I found myself truly suffering and could actually see it as suffering, somewhere I knew there had to be a better way. In this unwinding, this coming home to Self, I began to understand that the mind simply can’t know and I soon understood that it took so much more courage to not know. To trust, to unwind, to drop in and let go…..to trust, to pause, to breathe and to simply see what would happen. Can you do that…..just once, just for a moment…..can you pause, breathe and simply see what happens…..can you see this moment as having the courage to not know…..to let your mind rest and know it truly is okay.
We have all felt heartbreak in one form or another. Maybe you’re not ready to acknowledge it, or claim it or accept it for what it was……heartbreak is devastating, so disappointing and yet sometimes so freeing. Sometimes we have built a thick, titanium wall around our heart for self protection……and yet, we don’t even know that’s what we’ve done. We’ve needed that protection along the way, but then what, what happens when you discover your heart feels closed off, shut off, protected and unavailable. It’s frightening, terrifying to realize this and even more frightening to imagine the heart open, available and vulnerable. If you are closed off, what about soulful connection, heart connection, loving another…..with all of that titanium around the heart we miss out….so the heart needs to break, we need to feel all of those feelings that originally made us think we needed protection in the first place……and as we feel into those sacred places the titanium crumbles a little bit at a time…..this is sacred unwinding, sacred ground, there is pain here, deep pain, sometimes devastation and everything feels like it’s falling apart, because it is…..and everything we thought we knew doesn’t look the same anymore, and things crumble some more and the heart breaks some more……and as this happens we notice we can breathe a little easier, a little deeper, we feel a little lighter, colors are a bit more radiant. How can this be, you wonder…..there is a tenderness here, a sacred connection and in this heartbreak you find yourself coming home, coming home to yourself.
Healers Along the Way
If you pause for a moment and look around there are healers on this journey with you. Healers to make the journey bearable, to help light the way so the path is a little clearer. So often you may feel alone…..taking steps, doing what’s in front of you, wondering how in the world you’ve gotten so lost along the way or so it seems……it seemed like the right thing to do, the right direction……do you wonder sometimes how you got here and do you wonder sometimes where in the world you are going? Do you have a longing somewhere deep within your soul……it truly is an ache…….there is something more, but you feel lost……you have a willingness to put yourself out there, but what does out there really mean…..you want something to make sense…..again back to the longing, the knowing…….it’s a holding of an unresolved tension within yourself…..you simply want to break open, break free from the tension and land where you know you really need to be…….it’s a glimmer, out in the distance……and you’re wondering how in the world can you get there……now…….not later……when do you get to live that life you know you are supposed to be living……not this one that simply seems too small for you……doing the work you are supposed to be doing and being of service to those beautiful souls waiting for you. You hear the drumbeat…….it’s always there…….it’s the call from the world, trust that, do the next thing, believe it…….we are all waiting for your vibrant soul to join us.
Take a moment and write down any words, phrases, random thoughts or even colors that came to you. In time you will reflect back on them and they will link together and illuminate your journey back to your soul.
With so much love, light and healing on this miraculous journey,